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Most girls are relentlessly told that we will be treated how we demand to be treated. If we want respect, we must respect ourselves.

This does three things. Firstly, it gets men off the hook for being held accountable for how they treat women. And secondly, it makes women feel that the mistreatment and sometimes outright violence they face due to their gender is primarily their fault. And thirdly, it positions women to be unable to speak out against sexism because we are made to believe any sexism we experience would not have happened if we had done something differently.

I cannot demand a man to respect me. No more than I can demand that anybody do anything. I can ask men to be nice to me. But chances are if I even have to ask he does not care to be nice. I can express displeasure when I’m not being respected. But that doesn’t solve the issue that I was disrespected in the first place.

I can choose to not deal with a man once he proves to be disrespectful and/or sexist. But even that does not solve the initial problem of the fact that I had to experience being disrespected in the first place.

As a young girl, I wish that instead of being told that I needed to demand respect from men that I had been told that when I am not respected by men that it’s his fault and not mine. But that would require that we quit having numerous arbitrary standards for what it means to be a “respectable” woman. It would mean that I am not judged as deserving violence based on how I speak, what I wear, what I do, and who I am.

"
—excerpt from “FYI, I Cannot “Demand” Respect From Men so Stop Telling Me That!" @ One Black Girl. Many Words.  (via fajazo)

(Source: daniellemertina, via igbokwenu)


2 days ago

femmeanddangerous:

backto5oh5:

so if ya’ll haven’t heard, a lot of detroit residents have had their water turned off due to “outstanding bills”, some of $50 dollars or less. It’s gathered a lot of attention (probably bc it’s fucking disgusting) and national corporations like PETA have decided to do something about it!!! by paying off the water bills of detroit residents -who just have to agree to go vegan for a month. i am very angry, obviously, by the fact that WATER has been thrown around like a prize or a privilege in detroit and i’m really sad about this. 

(if you want to do something to help, you can pay the water bills [or parts of them!] of residents who have been affected by the shut off at detroitwaterproject.org)

((also if you know anyone personally who has been affected by the shut off, have the call in 211 hotline to be connected the united way services))

Dear fucking god this is disgusting. Literally bartering peoples human rights in exchange for adherence to their beliefs is so vile. I’m shaking with anger. How dare they use this flagrant denial of people’s rights as a PUBLICITY STUNT THE FUCKING AUDACITY OF THESE PRIVILEGED SHITBAGS IS OVERWHELMING.

this situation epitomizes so much of what is wrong in the world.  this is how we view human rights, no not as actual rights, but as rewards for those who are rich or behave “correct” or eat fucking tofu.  this is the value we as a society really place on poor people of color.  we tell people that they do not deserve water although it is their right because they are a human being who gets up everyday and survives this fucking system. and no, we will not help you out of the kindness of our hearts, because we have more than enough, because we can afford water to pump through fountains, water acres of golf courses, and fill swimming pools… NOPE.  but oh thank u PETA that white fucking savior who will so generously pay that exorbitant fucking water bill for ya (this will probably cost them under $2000 for 10 families…) because yes you do deserve it, but only if you abide by our beliefs and eat what we tell you to eat for a month.   HOW MUCH CAN WE ADD TO THE GAUNTLET OF MISERY THAT WE ARE PUTTING POOR POC’S THROUGH IN THIS COUNTRY, HOW MUCH? WATER IS A HUMAN RIGHT, NOT A VEGAN RIGHT, NOT A WEALTHY PERSON’S RIGHT, NOT SOMETHING TO BE DESERVED OR EARNED. you don’t have to DO anything to have the right to water…by nature of you existing as a human on this earth, you have the right to clean water and sanitation.

maybe we understand the concept of a right, they just don’t consider certain people HUMAN. 

oh, but this is PETA we’re talking about, proponents of animal rights.  are they also asking stray dogs to go vegan as a condition to not be euthanized?? no? that would be cruel and inhumane??? 

REEVALUATE YOUR FUCKING PRIORITIES YOU PIECES OF SHIT.

 just utterly fucking disgusting. 

(via thishandsomefemme)


3 days ago

beyoncefashionstyle:

On the run (July 24)

beyoncefashionstyle:

On the run (July 24)

6 days ago

humansofnewyork:

"He’s helped me be more comfortable with my emotions. I’ve never liked that I have emotions. They make me feel weak."
“Why is that?”
“My mother was always confiding her problems in me when I was growing up. She counted on me for support. I guess I felt like I had to be strong to set an example.”

(via hantisedeloubli)

humansofnewyork:

"He’s helped me be more comfortable with my emotions. I’ve never liked that I have emotions. They make me feel weak." “Why is that?” “My mother was always confiding her problems in me when I was growing up. She counted on me for support. I guess I felt like I had to be strong to set an example.”

this-is-hard-femme:

this-is-hard-femme:

satans-advocate:

sext: i want to pay bills and share household duties and approach our late 20’s in a financially and emotionally stable way with you

Holla

this times 394798274914

All of this. But also have mind-blowing sex though.


1 week ago

mfjr:

Paul Signac (French, 1863-1935), Les Diablerets (L’Oldenhorn et le Bécabesson), 1903. Oil on canvas, 65 x 81 cm.

(via mfjr)

mfjr:

Paul Signac (French, 1863-1935), Les Diablerets (L’Oldenhorn et le Bécabesson), 1903. Oil on canvas, 65 x 81 cm.

"It’s the whiteness and subsequent institutional power of white gay males that enabled marriage equality, not some radical sea change in how power is distributed amongst various groups of Americans"
- Yvonne (autostraddle)

(Source: albnz, via autostraddle)


beyoncefashionstyle:

On the run (July 11)

1 week ago

diecry:

JACKIE BROWN (1997) dir. Quentin Tarantino


1 week ago

need to remember this

(Source: fatanarchy, via thishandsomefemme)

need to remember this

theme